What the...?

Last night I dreamt that I was really upset with Alex. He told me he'd met a girl named Cate and she'd been emailing him some artwork she did. And that she was his GIRLFRIEND. I flipped my lid and started screaming, why do you need another one when you already have me?!?! Then I was with Chris and Patty yelling my head off about it and Patty was going to take me out. Except I'd been making a layered rainbow Jello dessert - why?? And Chris and Alex were eating it before it was finished. Chris was in a wheelchair. (Wasn't there a character in Friday named Little Chris? In a wheelchair? Or was it Boyz n the Hood?) There was some weird dog-wolf creature in the hallway and I had to use the bathroom, I'd catch up with them downstairs. There was howling everywhere. I couldn't part my hair - it kept coming out all crooked. I had Alex's laptop, and I looked at his files and found a folder labeled "Cate" that had all kinds of comic book-looking drawings and sketches. Cubist, shaded characters that looked like The Thing.

I DON'T KNOW.

When we woke up this morning I asked Alex, "Do you know anyone named Cate?" "No?" (very groggily).

I'm going to make a layered Jello casserole.

I feel so broke up, I wanna go home

I had a dream about Brian Wilson last night. If you don't know who that is, I feel so sorry for you.

I was organizing some big musician get-together at Pete's Candy Store and he called to tell me personally that he was going to be there and to ask about the space, etc. He was so nice. And I was so excited! I hung up the phone and was screaming OMG OMG OMG!!!

Happy Friday!

It was only a dream

I don't remember people's faces in my dream unless they're friends of mine.

I was staying in a house with a tiny, 10x40 (maybe) backyard. My host said there were a lot of bats so I went outside to see if I could find any. Someone else was back there and he showed me a bat that was hanging inside the eave. It was gigantic. Then I noticed they had buried themselves under the stepping stones and gravel in the garden. So I freaked out and said we had to kill them - chop them up and bury them under human organs.

Next scene I'm in a car driving to BK with someone else, and a homeless kid in the car. He gets out and we continue to get burgers. We decide to get one for the homeless kid and while we're out looking for him I run into David & Laurea who are trying to exchange a watch he got for her, this really huge silver watch. I gasp when I see it and pull the same exact one out of my pocket.

Then the alarm rang.

What dream dictionaries say about bats:
1. Awful is the fate of the unfortunate dreamer of this ugly animal. Sorrows and calamities from hosts of evil work against you. Death of parents and friends, loss of limbs or sight, may follow after a dream of these ghoulish monsters. A white bat is almost a sure sign of death. Often the death of a child follows this dream.

2. To see bats in your dream, symbolizes uncleanness, demons, and annoyances. Alternatively, bats represent rebirth. You need to let go of old habits. Your current path is not compatible with your new growth and new goals. It may also mean that you are blindly entering into a situation or deal. You need to evaluate the facts more carefully. The dream may also been a pun on feeling "batty" or feeling crazy.

To dream of a white bat, signifies death of a family member. To dream of a black bat, signifies personal disaster.

To see a vampire bat in your dream, represents that a person in your life may be draining your of self-confidence and/or your resources.

According to Chinese folklore, if you see five bats in your dream, then it symbolizes good health, longevity, pace, wealth, and happiness.

GREAT. So since I'm hacking the bats to pieces does that mean I'm sabotaging my chances at good health, longevity, pace, wealth and happiness? Or fighting the chance of a personal disaster?

Awesome.

We're not in Graceland anymore...

Last night I had a dream that I was betrothed to Paul Simon who ended up being gay. Of course he fell in love with Art Garfunkel but we remained close. I was even trying to convince old Art to marry my ex-darlin even though he had very strong opinions about bocce ball (which he said was not relaxing). Bocce ball was Paul's favorite activity.

I don't know either.

Later in the dream I heard Paul repeating to Art the same things he had told me! I got pretty mad. Suddenly I was Serena van der Woodsen from Gossip Girl and there was a whole GG interlude but when I snapped out of it, Paul had turned into a tiny yapping terrier and was trying to bite my feet off because I had his bank statement in my hand and was trying to call his bank. For some reason I had one of those extendable pointers in my hand, which I was beating him away with. Every time I hit him he yelped in pain and I felt sick to my stomach.

I can't even remember how it ended because the alarm rang and jolted me out of it. And I have no idea where that even came from because I haven't listened to Graceland in about 6 months.

Happy Friday. Good thing I got no sleep last night!

The power of positive thinking

This week I've had two people ask for help to get them jobs. One is an old friend who got laid off, the other is a photographer I met on the train one day. I sent their information over to our creative sister company, to someone I know in Art Production. Last night I had a dream that she emailed me back, terribly excited, saying that these two people were exactly what they were looking for! I was so happy I was able to help them. And then I realized it was a dream. And when I got to work this morning there was no email from Art Production. Grr!

Just like my dream I had last year, when my bosses called me in for a meeting to tell me that they wanted to help me grow in the company by sending me to our global locations to help start up some processes there, to help me learn languages and grow within the company. Then I woke up and realized, they'll never do that for me!

I can't wait to get back to sleep.

Broken

This is my MRI film. It shows two herniated discs between the 4th and 5th, and 5th and 6th lumbar. We are treating the disc between the 4th and 5th with spinal decompression treatment, using a machine called the DRK-9000 which basically helps to stretch that specific area. The disc is like a jelly donut. When it's herniated, the jelly is spilling out and pressing on the spinal nerve. This is what's causing the pain. When I'm in the machine getting stretched out, the jelly has a chance to flow back in. 6 weeks of this.

Last night I had a dream - I was still in my old room on Scholes St. I woke up and there were two rabid squirrels in my room! Running and running and making weird "TCH TCH TCH!!" noises and hissing at me. I finally got rid of them, but turned around only to see a big ass monkey ready to pounce. Gah! Maybe it's indicative of how I feel at work when everyone and anyone just walks into my cube to take food, forks, forms, etc. when I am trying to work. Ya'll are monkeys.

Dream a little dream

So that is me, about 11 years ago on my horse Pete. Riding horses was so much a part of my life that I basically had no life. Every day after school and on the weekends (except Monday) I was riding. When I was little, another older rider Karen would pick me up from school in her little Audi, with a sandwich from the deli she worked at (roast beef on Dutch crunch) and she'd drive me to the barn, which was up by Skyline. I'd be there, riding, from 4pm to about 7pm, every day after school and even longer on the weekends. During show season, I'd be out at least two weeks out of each month, Thursday thru Sunday, competing. And so it went from ages 7-13, when I was forcefully displaced to the Philippines by my then-evil father.

In the Philippines, I did not have the gang of kids I grew up riding with. I did not have the security of my trainers, who were also like my second parents. I did not have my horses. We shipped the B team over, Liberty and Muffin. I participated in random, sporadic clinics with different trainers, which may seem like a lucky thing because they were quite famous, until you realize that all their different teaching styles sometimes canceled each other out...and made for some very confused riders. I thought of it as a joke. Couple that with the owner of the riding school basically acting like I should have BEGGED her for help, after making me wander around the ring for hours while she gave the lesson that I was supposed to be in and I guess you could say I pretty much hated riding in the Philippines. I would come back to California every summer to try to catch up to my peers, who were already starting to qualify for the Young Riders back east. And just as I started to get going again, I had to go back to the Philippines. To school. I couldn't try out for track, I couldn't try out for basketball. Because I had to ride. But with nothing and no one to ride for, what was the point? I missed my trainers, and I missed my horses. I missed the competition and traveling. True, I did get to travel as a member of the Philippine Equestrian Team: Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Japan, India, Australia... But these competitions were always on borrowed horses and it wasn't the same.

I ended up quitting when I went to college because by then I felt like I couldn't do anymore. For one, because I would be on the east coast, away from my trainers again. And the bigger reason - it is fucking expensive!

That said, I have many many recurring dreams that I am riding again. Always, I am riding my horse Mickey. And always, we are going off-course. IE: I forget the order in which I am supposed to jump the obstacles, and instead I am riding around the ring searching for jump numbers and flags, all the while listening for my trainer to shout instructions to me but I can never hear him. Or sometimes, we are flying high above the clouds and we come down for a crash landing in a tree. This morning I had an especially horrible one in which someone else was riding my horse, who was so angry it took off at a flat gallop, jumping fences and barriers that were much too big to clear. Eventually she tried to clear this high cyclone fence and her front legs never left the ground, back legs propelling her into the fence. Her forearms crashed into the fence, and she fell on the ground with her eyes closed and my trainer cradling her head.

What a Monday to wake up to.

Photo by Liad Cohen found on Lomography.com


A car alarm was going off this morning and it seemed like it wouldn't stop. It woke me up and I tried so hard to go back to sleep, only to have the weirdest (premonition?) dream...

I was pregnant but there were complications so they had to induce labor. When the baby was born she was only about as long as my hand and they had to keep her incubated. But the doctors kept talking about her like she was already dead. And confused, I tried to ask them questions - she couldn't be dead if they were still keeping her in the hospital? I was so worried and cried nonstop. Alex was still in school and had some exams. Andrea was with me. I think I was in school too and I tried to find Alex in between classes to talk to him but he wouldn't leave his desk. Andrea was so angry with him we went to go find somewhere to sit but we passed these three girls in brown hooded robes much like the ones monks wear, seated on a raised wall. They were chanting something. That's all I remember.

Uh...I don't want to get pregnant any time in the near future so I don't know what this dream means. Unless it is indicative of my relationship which isn't so great either!

Huh?

I had a dream that A.O. Scott was in trouble, that he was writing with a pseudonym and I was the only one who knew and was trying to help. He was publishing his writing in code and I was trying to decipher it. As usual, I was trying to get people to help and no one cared. And I don't even read movie reviews.

Wishing it wasn't a dream

I dreamt that my bosses at work somehow were going to promote me or send me to training and were actually asking what I wanted to do and what I was good at. I told them I wanted to learn languages. And they were encouraging and were going to let me learn German and Japanese, as well as take brush-up courses for my French. I was going to get to travel, I think.

And then I woke up and realized that it would never happen. Boourns.

I also dreamt that I developed my own colored photos. I took a roll of film to the guy down the street that I usually go to and they came out really shitty. I was pretty pissed especially since I paid extra for a picture CD. In my dream, I developed the negatives at home and they turned out great. I think it means I finally need my own darkroom in the apartment. I have a bathtub - I can do it.

WTF

I had a dream last night that I was back at the armory except everything was white - everything that was part of the armory was white and plaster. All the stuffed moose and deer heads were white plaster and they had no antlers or ears. They looked more like white plaster human heads that were mounted onto the wall. The exhibits were still there though, untouched and in color. And again I was on some sort of mission involving espionage and double agents and I was trying to crawl into a hole in the wall. Or maybe I was trying to pass through it, the way cells use water like osmosis.

Staring at the sun

TV on the Radio tonight at BAM Cafe - starts at 10pm and it's FREE SO FREEEEEE!

It's a 3-day weekend for me, which I haven't really been paying attention to. So it comes as a pleasant surprise. I don't have any real plans except to relax and watch DVDs. I have: Emmanuelle, The Wicker Man (the OG 1973 version) and The Kingdom disc 1 (Lars von Trier). Mostly disturbing, which I seem to be leaning towards lately.

I had a weird dream last night about a talking horse. I was trying to lead it up this bank, that I had to climb up except the front looked like a big bookshelf. The horse was scared and it could talk. So every time I tried to do it, he would try to talk me out of it. We finally did it. Cut to next scene, I'm at a buffet. I'm trying to get a plate of noodles with steamed whole shrimp (heads, tails, everything) and wondering if the horse will eat it.
Alex: Well that's a typical dream for you - it involves horses and food!

Speaking of which, I went to the eye doctor today. There were all these photos of him on horses at horse shows. Turns out he used to do showjumping as well. I can't escape it. I got a week's worth of free daily contact lens samples out of it. AND numbed eyeballs. It's the weirdest sensation to have, to be blinking over eyeballs that can't really feel anything.